like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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