Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
