The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
