just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
