Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He? As in you personified your dick?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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