paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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