They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
