He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
