brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
