One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
