woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
this beer tastes like vomit already
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
