We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
