You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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