Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize