1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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