The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
she peed on how many people?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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