I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
