I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Found your dick twin last night
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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