after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
