The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
