He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
