You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize