Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
