I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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