How'd it feel making her break her religion?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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