I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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