apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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