I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
