i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
mondays should just be called national damage control day
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
