This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
