areolas are like halos for boobs.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize