Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
