what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
My bed smells like the plague
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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