I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
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I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
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Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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