Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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