Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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