Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
