i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize