come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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