just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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