Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
