Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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