i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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