Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
