i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
