Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
