Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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