You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
