I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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