your parents love me but you hate me
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
