i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize