No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize