you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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