I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
