I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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