You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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