I molested 6 butterflies tonight
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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