I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
