We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
