did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
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Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
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And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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