Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
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