If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
