that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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