The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize