marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Randomize
