This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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