I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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