she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
