And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
No stitches, just platelets and will power
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
